A
mother’s love is a sturdy thing…it survives
most everything in its path. It endures immeasurable
heartache, faces overwhelming fears, creates magic and
miracles, and challenges all enemies. A mother’s
love can comfort and soothe, correct and scold, guide
and let go all with one look. It is steady and
constant – omnipresent and solid.
Yes, a mother’s love is a sturdy thing, but life
is ultimately not. Children, no matter how old
they become, have an irrational belief that their moms
will last forever. We can’t quite figure
out who we are without the one who gave us life to define
us. When mothers die, like my mom did this morning,
it leaves the ones left behind desperate to find that
true north on the compass. But a mother’s
love is sturdy…it doesn’t collapse under
the grief of loss. It lasts beyond the expiration
of the earthly vessel that kissed boo-boos and tucked
us in at night. A mother’s love is deposited
into the hearts of those she loved and there it grows
and lives forever. It is sturdy enough to prop
us up and remind us of the courage she taught us…sturdy
enough to create a veil of peace until we can find
serenity on our own.
My mom was emancipated today from the prison of confusion
that has kept her hostage for a decade. Her love is
surely sturdy enough for me to climb onto its wake
of protection and stay there while we make sense of
her suffering and her courageous battle against Alzheimer’s disease. Her
death was the answer to a prayer my Dad, brother and
sister and I have whispered and spoken aloud for some
time. Death, of course, is not on our clock and
yet there is perfection in the timing of the universe. Gloria
Jean Dyson Gibbons left a legacy of love and change that
is powerful and beautiful. At her urging, we shared
her diagnosis and her story of truth and strength to
offer it up as a lifeline to others who were afraid and
who felt alone. She asked me to promise to tell
her story, and I continue to try. Our family, guided
by my friend and co-founder, Dr. Jamie Huysman started
the Leeza Gibbons Memory Foundation as a love letter
to my Mom and all the moms who know that love is love
and a heart never forgets. We believed that those
who are forgetting should not be forgotten and that no
caregiver should ever be alone. And so we began
to open Leeza’s Place as an oasis for those families
who know chronic disease of any kind. My mother’s
door was always open. She always had the coffee
on and time for a conversation. It’s that
way at Leeza’s Place. Like love, our support
is free and is offered without conditions. I remember
many conversations with my mother where she made it clear
that she didn’t want there to be shame and stigma
around her diagnosis. So we proudly embrace her
spirit and celebrate her life.
They say the soul has an agenda. If that’s
true then my mom has checked this lifetime off the list! She
has been the inspiration for so much healing and so much
help that has been offered in her name. In South
Carolina, where she lived almost her entire life, we
get amazing storms. Mom loved them. She related
to the change in the atmosphere and always saw it as
a chance at a new beginning. Like the storms she
loved, she was outspoken and fearless and yet vulnerable
and ready for a good downpour of emotion. Her dreams
were simple…to love her family the best way she
knew how and to find her true self along the way. She
used to say she was a strong southern woman…a
steel magnolia and that God gave her such broad shoulders
for a reason. It was to carry a dream of change,
Mom. Now that you have placed it down…Cammy,
Carlos, Anne Marie and I will pick it up and carry it
effortlessly and gracefully because we are supported
by your sturdy love. My children and their children
will keep the story vital and keep the flame burning
brightly.
Daddy kissed his wife of 54 years goodbye today. He
said it was hard to let go of her and yet he too was
relieved for her release. To those who have loved
her and loved me or my family, I feel your support and
your presence. Even those I have never met and
may never meet…I feel the collective blanket you
are offering and I will wrap myself up in it and feel
safe. Our family thanks you for your prayers,
thoughts and outpouring of love.
My mother's legacy of change is thriving. There
is much needed healing and help being offered in her
name through Leeza's Place. She always had the
door open and the coffee on with plenty of time to
sit and talk. That was our inspiration behind
our free services for caregivers dealing with any kind
of chronic illness. Mom has been emancipated
from the prison of her confused mind now. She
is free from the thief known as Alzheimer’s disease
that broke into our lives and stole her from us. Like
millions of other families who bravely battle this
insidious disease, we are dedicated to creating a world
where memory loss no longer threatens the rewrite the
story of our lives. Through
our work at Leeza's Place we are blessed to have created
a nationwide caregiver community that is becoming better
education, more empowered and energized to face their
struggles.
I want to thank all those who have offered
thoughts, prayers and support. It has wrapped
me in a safe blanket of love as I grieve for my mother.